Lucario's Hot Buttery Space Adventure
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Falco says Lucario's been acting a bit strange lately. Will Marth be able to get to the bottom of this?


"How are you feeling today, my friend?" asked Marth as he poured a glass of lemonade for Falco.

"I guess I'm okay…" replied Falco, an obvious hint of groan in his tone.

Marth pushed his glasses into place (he got then from the supermarket last Tuesday). He sat up close to Falco and held his wings in a caring manner. "Falco, it is I, Marth. As the most beautiful being in existence, I permit thee to tell me anything that weighs on your mind. Seeing you this down effects my beauty on a spiritual level. Please, tell me what troubles you. I'll listen."

Falco sighed and turned away from Marth. "There is no trouble." He stood up from his chair and began to pace the room. Marth took a sip of lemonade and made some pretty noises with his eyelashes.

"All right, I'll speak!" muttered Falco. He sat back down and grabbed Marth by the hands. Marth stared deeply into Falco's eyes. "I have a terrible problem, dear Marth…" He suddenly broke into tears and hid his face in his elbow.

"It's okay. Say anything," said Marth, he patted his avian friend on the shoulder.

"It's about Lucario…"

"What happened between you two?"

"Nothing happened, per se…"

"Then what has you so riled up?"

"I feel like I don't even know that Pokemon anymore. He's changed. Everyone else sees it as a good change, but no one has ever stopped to consider what it has done to our relationship!"

Marth sat back and crossed his arms. He had not once yet considered how Lucario's love for birds had effected Falco, who was one such species. "Tell me more."

"Lucario and I were havin' a good old time on FD the other day. He was nailing me with some sick aura smash attacks and I was laying down the pounding with my deadly Dair. The next thing I know, I'm tumbling off the edge due to a disrespectful footstool. He really had some nerve…"

"I see. What happened next?"

"The battle was over. I clapped for his victory like any good sport would. Then he ran up to me and said… 'not bad… for a bird…'"

Marth gasped. "Well, that is very unchivalrous of him! The cad!"

Falco began to bawl again. Marth slapped him upside the head and reassured him everything would be all right. "But why would he say such a thing?"

"I don't know, but I'm getting to the bottom of this, Falco. You can count on me!"

That night, Marth stopped by the Pokemon house and knocked on the door. Charizard answered the door. "What's good, Marth? It's ya boy Charizard!"

"Hi, Charizard, is Lucario in the building?" said Marth.

"Yeah, he's upstairs."

"We need to have a talk."

Charizard Flare Blitzed into the wall and Marth ran up the stairs for justice. When he opened the door to Lucario's room, he found the jackal-like mon lying on a gigantic mound of melting butter.

"What is this!?" cried Marth. The sight horrified him.

"Oh, hi, Marth!" said Lucario as he buried his toes in the butter and squeezed it through in between. "I'm having a swell time today. Want to hang, bruh?"

Marth sliced the butter with his sword like a hot knife through butter. Lucario gasped at the dairy decapitation. He growled at Marth and charged up his aura. "My glory! What is the meaning of this!"

"Lucario, we need to have a serious talk about your friendship skills," Marth said as he licked the excess butter from his falchion.

Lucario powered down and relaxed his ferocity. "Okay, Marth. You have my attention."

"Thank you," Marth grabbed a chair from the other side of the room (he didn't have to move over there, his grab is that good). He sat down and brushed his hair back. "I'm deeply concerned about what happened between you and Falco the other day…"

Lucario let out a smug laugh and stood up. He then dashed over his wardrobe with his arms splayed out like an airplane. He flung open the doors and pulled out another giant stick of butter. He unpeeled the plastic wrapping and jammed the entire thing up the secret compartment in the back. Lucario laughed and said something about "sports cars". Moments later, he exploded into a billion tiny fragments.

Charizard and the rest of the Poke-gang ran upstairs to find out what just happened. They found Marth sitting in his chair covered in butter and Lucario guts. Needless to say, they were terribly cross with Marth and had him arrested, blaming him for killing Lucario.

Years later after Marth was tried and found guilty, The ghost of Lucario came to the Smash Bros jail to visit Marth.

"What are you doing here?" said Marth in a Will Arnett voice.

"I was about to ask you the same question," said Lucario.

"I'm in jail 'cause everybody thought I killed you!"

"Oh, that was a mistake. I just wanted to show you how cool butter is."

"Well, it certainly isn't 'cool' now, hot stuff! Your foolish endeavour has landed me in the hoosegow!"

"I'm sorry, but you frightened me when you asked about Falco…"

"You're a bad friend, Lucario. After Falco heard you 'died', he ran away into outer space with Wolf O' Donnel!"

"WOLF!? STEALING MY FALCO!?" Lucario jumped back and gripped the sides of the wall with his ghastly paws. He was in severe distress. He could handle Falco and Fox hanging out with each other since they were like brothers. However, Lucario hated Wolf for his killer abs and undeniably good-looking rear. "I must reclaim that brilliant birdbrain as my own!"

"I can help you, but first you have to get me out of this hole."

"No prob, guy," Lucario used his Force Palm attack and broke the bars to the cell. He then jammed the bars into the ghost version of his secret compartment. Through the power of his Steel-typing, Lucario was able to regenerate his physical body and came back to life.

Marth tore off his prisoner clothes and wowed all the guards with his amazing underwear modeling prowess. Lucario clapped too because Marth was the hottest thing ever.

When the two made it to the Garden of Hope, they stole Olimar's ship and flew off into outer space in search of Falco and Wolf. Several hours later, they found the two riding atop the Dragoon singing "A Whole New World". Marth jumped out of the Dolphin and used his Dolphin Slash to stab the vehicle and swipe back both of them.

On the ride home, Wolf and Marth talked about the future of Smash together. Lucario and Falco talked about their feelings. Everyone was friends again and they all lived happily ever after.

And then the Dolphin got hit by a meteor.

Everyone inside died.

But Lucario used his amazing ghost-resurrection technique using the scrap metal from the Dolphin and everyone was okay after that. Except Wolf, of course.

And that's the true reason why Wolf O' Donnel never made it into Smash 4.

THE END


End file.
